So. I'm writing every day now. Which means I look to capture writing experiences. Unlike years ago, I have so many experiences that move me every day, it is almost like I have, each day, accumulated a book. A lifetime of writing in a day. A universe of happenings that can be brought back to life, or turned. Untread possibilities that are simple to fulfill with words.
Unlike years ago, I stay in the moment. The possibility of writing about now never intrudes on now. It's kind of awesome and you should try it. The city is yours to command if you do. Everyone else is so distracted.
I rolled with some visiting Brazilian black belts tonight. They remembered me from 2009 when we last rolled. I felt like a white belt against them. Their game was so different. The doors I usually open effortlessly had disappeared. My ability to dominate equally gone. One was exactly my size and his game was just familiar enough for me to know, in the moment, that I had no counter game. For the first time today I stopped being in the moment and went back to old habits, surviving the fight, giving up on creating new pathways. I started to think as he move fluidly around my body: he is so young, my body hurts so much, I know almost nothing, why did Professor promote me anyway? All the while being choked. I noticed it immediately. It persisted for a minute and then I cut it out and got out of the choke. I started playing again and my partner was delighted. This is not the little minx from 2002. There is no second guessing or doubt. I'm a purple belt second degree under a legend in jiu jitsu and the new year 2013 is upon me. I gave up my right to stop in the middle of the action a long time ago.